You spend your whole life being their kid. Then one day, without warning, the roles start to shift — and suddenly you’re the one lying awake at night.
For me, that moment hasn’t been a crisis. Not yet. My dad is 84, about to turn 85 this summer, lives in South America — because let’s be honest, how many of us can comfortably retire here in the U.S.? 🙄 — and perhaps it’s where he lives that he’s doing better than most people half his age. He exercises, eats well, and spends his days at the yacht club playing cuarenta — a card game that keeps his mind sharp and his spirit full. He has built a beautiful, independent life for himself, and it is entirely his own.
But I think about the future. A lot.
Do I ask him to move in with me someday? My house has two floors — is that even safe? How do I have that conversation with him without making him feel like a child, when he has spent 84 years being anything but? How do I help him protect the independence he’s worked so hard to build? And honestly — what does Medicare even cover?
These questions sent me down a rabbit hole I wasn’t prepared for. And I realized two things: I couldn’t be the only one asking them, and wherever you are in this journey, you probably feel the same thing: completely unprepared, and completely alone in it.
That’s why I started Still Their Kid.
I’m Bianca — a millennial daughter asking all the questions I never thought I’d have to ask this soon. My partner is an occupational therapist who works with aging patients and their families every day. He sees what I’m worried about in real life, in real homes, with real families. Most people don’t have someone like that to call when they’re wondering if dad’s bathroom is safe or what Medicare actually covers. I happen to live with one — and the least I can do is share what I learn at our dinner table with everyone who needs it.
Whether your parent is thriving independently or already needs around-the-clock care, you deserve real information, honest conversations, and the feeling that someone gets it.
You’re still their kid. So am I. Let’s figure this out together.
— Bianca
